How to Believe in Yourself When it’s Hard

Like anything, venturing out into the unknown, especially when it takes a lot of hard effin’ work every single day to get there, is tough. It’s frustrating.

It’s defeating at times.  We can develop self-doubt and feel like a failure.

Because with any amount of success there will be failures
— a lot of ’em.

We can take them personally, and it makes it that much harder to continue to put ourselves out there.

The one thing that keeps us moving and grinding it out day after day is self-belief.  Without it, there can be no success, no lasting transformation. 

It doesn’t matter what area of life you’re looking at, belief in ourselves is one of the most significant factors in achieving success.

​Anyone who has ever been successful in life has believed in themselves, even just a little bit.  They nurtured that small kernel of belief until it was a roaring flame, and quitting was not an option.

So how do we develop this self-belief?

Here are a few tools:
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Remember times in the past when you’ve been successful. 

Write these down and refer back to them often for a boost of confidence.  Think of the steps and the skills and talents you used to get those wins and see if you can apply those steps and insights to your current situation.

So for me, I’m repeatedly reminding myself of things I was able to accomplish:  finishing multiple half-marathons, competing and placing in a bikini competition 3 years ago, and playing college soccer. 

I remind myself that these things are proof that I have a good work ethic, determination, perseverance, and the skills to get those things done, as well as the courage to venture into the unknown.

Then I try to apply those qualities and skills to my current challenge, and remember what it was like at the beginning of those journeys and how I felt and what I did to press on despite the obstacles in my way.

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Give it the RAIN treatment.

Buddhist teacher James Baraz created this practice to use when self-doubt strikes, and I love its simplicity.

Recognize:  Become aware of what’s going on (I don’t think I can do it)

Accept:  Rather than “should”ing and shaming yourself, accept those feelings with kindness and compassion (I’m afraid I will fail again)

Investigate:  What feelings are in your body?  What images come up for you?
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Nonidentify:  Tell yourself, These thoughts and feelings are not me.  They are just passing through.  I am more than these thoughts and feelings.  I can choose not to respond.
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​The SSC is a 100% online fitness community of women who want to lose weight, get strong, and have fun doing it!  There are no quick fixes or detoxes here — just the latest in effective training techniques, practical nutrition, and mindset tools to break through every barrier in your way.  This sisterhood of like-minded women (and me as your coach, of course) will be there for you every step of the way.  We’ll cheer your wins, support you through the rough patches, and push you to be your best every day!
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