It’s difficult to avoid the “New Year, New Me” messaging that’s so pervasive this time of year. New Year’s Resolutions are being made, and the multi-billion dollar diet industry is in full swing.
We can’t avoid the WW commercials, the fat burner supplement magazine ads, or the articles online about “finally losing the weight for good.” All very tempting, yet very misleading and problematic for many reasons.
We all would like to be an improved version of ourselves, whether it’s related to our appearance, skills, career, relationships, mindset, or whatever. It’s why self-development books and courses sell so well, not to mention exercise programs and diet plans.
I’m not immune to this desire for self-improvement. After all, I’m in the fitness industry. I help people get fit and strong, lose weight, and build muscle. I do the same for myself. I get it — I own many self-development books and I love to read and research and work to become a better human. (And we could all stand to put effort into learning and doing something about systemic racism, xenophobia, and other social justice issues, but that’s another story.)
That said, the “New Me” messaging is especially problematic when it comes to weight and appearance. First of all, our bodies and weight are the least interesting thing about us. Secondly, so much of our appearance is genetically predetermined and can only be changed through dramatic and often unsustainable means.
And diets, more often than not, fail. Only a very small percentage of people lose a significant amount of weight and keep it off long-term (meaning up to 5 years). I can’t tell you how many clients, friends, and family I’ve heard say that they feel like failures for not being able to stick with a diet or lose weight. And these are very successful, intelligent, accomplished people! They are the furthest thing from failures, and yet the diet industry has convinced them otherwise. 🙁
The last thing I want anyone to feel is that they are lacking or unworthy. And the “New Year, New Me” does just this. When we feel the need to be a “new me,” we’re saying that our current selves are not good enough. The excitement of changing ourselves and thus changing our lives is heady and intoxicating. Who wouldn’t want a better, more exciting life?
Now, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to change how we look. I’m all for makeup, haircuts, hair color, clothing, fitness, nutrition, books, etc. for expressing who we are and how we want to show up in the world. Wanting to lose weight or build muscle or otherwise change our appearance is all fine and good. There’s nothing wrong with that.
But it’s when we make that the focus of our worth and efforts that it becomes a problem.
Pretty is not the rent we [women] pay to exist in the world. I’m not sure who first said that, but it has always resonated with me. We women have worth regardless of what we look like me. We have so much more to offer the world than our appearance. We don’t have to fit some society-determined box to be worthy.
We don’t have to become a new person to be worthy of love, success, and all life has to offer. So ditch the “New Year, New Me” mentality. Changing our appearance doesn’t change our lives like we think it will.
There’s some initial excitement and change in the way we think of ourselves, but that eventually wears off as that becomes our new normal. Becoming a smaller version of ourselves doesn’t change who we are. It doesn’t magically change our lives or make us more confident or charismatic or likeable. It doesn’t solve our problems.
And if we gain the weight back, or otherwise revert back to our previous appearance or a different appearance than before, we can feel like failures. And that is very damaging to our sense of self and self-worth.
“New Year, New Me” is bullshit. You’re already pretty awesome as is. So this year, be a good human, go after your goals, try new things. But continue to be YOU.